It is hard to meet someone nowadays. Despite having bars and clubs all over the metropolis, it is hard to find someone who is looking for something really serious. And with today’s people all focus on their careers, most have no time to go around and meet new people.

One of the ways to meet new people fast and easy is through speed dating, which is rapidly gaining popularity since its beginnings in 1998 in Beverly Hills.

The concept of speed dating was actually thought of by a Rabbi who devised the system to help his community of believers to get to know each other and bond despite being in a large city, where the jewish population is next to nil. The concept clicked and become so successful that it has been incorporated into the dating scene.

Speed dating is actually quite simple. Men and women who are interested in finding potential partners or even activity partners will have to register with a speed dating organizer. Often, people who join the events are those who are seriously interested in forming lasting relationships with other people. Because of this, one can be sure that people in the group have good intentions. This is important especially when dealing with people who do not have the time to play games like the rest of the pack that are lounging in bars.

Participants in the speed dating event will then be given the opportunity to talk to each of the participants from the opposite sex. There will be a series of mini-dates that will last anywhere from 3 minutes to 8 minutes depending on the organizers of the speed dating event.

They can ask any question or talk about any topic that they want. Often, even in these few minutes, they will be able to know if their personalities will click or not. No one is allowed to give any contact numbers and other personal information until after each of the mini-dates.
After the event, they will then submit a list of names, who they want to get to know more and have contact even after the event. If the person one has chosen also chose them, a match is made and these people will then be given the opportunity to maintain contact through an exchange in phone numbers.

One way to break the ice among strangers is of course to ask questions that are relevant and pertinent. Often, the questions that you will be asking during speed dating will also help you determine if there is a chance for a match or not. This is how crucial questions in speed dating are. Below are some dos and don’ts in formulating questions during mini-speed dating dates.

1. Ask questions that they can answer and not just nod to. This means that you should be asking questions that will not allow them to answer you with either a yes or a no. Use open-ended questions. This is one way to determine if they are good conversationalists.

2. Don’t ask serious questions that are just too deep or too personal to answer. Save those questions when you really got to know the person or when you are out on a date after the event.

3. Ask for their interests. It may seem too clichéd but at least you will be able to find out if your interests will click or if you have similar ones.

Nobody knows himself better than him.

This seem incredibly true for those who can actually handle themselves and those who can actually benefit from the knowledge they can derive and use from knowing who they truly are.

Introspection is the habit of looking inward. Like most human activities, this would either assert positive or negative effects. There are times that reflection of one’s image may create healthy products in the person. That is, when he is focused on his entire being and in return, considers this whole picture as an effective juncture to find where and what is missing and lacking. That way, he would find means of compensating for such. However, introspection may also turn against a person when it has become too focused on the negative aspects of one’s personality. This then is called thought rumination.

Thought rumination is somewhat similar to that of a caged hamster. This is a way to run in tight circles by obsessing one’s self on a loss, or a problem or any form of ambiguity that hinders the moving on process.

But in order to build self confidence, one has to know where the problem truly rooted. This can only be done by reflecting one’s values and behaviors. If you find it hard to detach yourself from the actual situation or to stay away from thought rumination, you may rely on other people’s assistance.

But you see, any form of self analysis is beneficial so long as it is properly guided. Depending on your focus, you can either help take out yourself from having too low self confidence or to land on the floor face flat.

If you can redirect your focus on your attributes that will help you build yourself confidence then by all means do. Sometimes, even when people are around to help us, it is only we that we can actually raise ourselves back. Life changing routes usually happen when we pass by a path and find that path to be the right way for us. People may point us to our direction but without our willingness to drive us there, no amount of help can truly help us except when it comes from our self.

Self motivation will greatly affect the ways by which we build our self confidence. Unlike the detrimental habit of saying- “my life is messed up” or “my life is nothing but a good way to kill time”, you can use positive reinforcements and say otherwise.

You may not have realized it but you are a genius in your own fashion. A philosopher once said that all men have an innate beast within him. True and we can actually see these beasts manifesting in our daily affairs. Yet this truth does not negate the fact that all of us has an innate genius struggling to come out. This genius will always perform for our benefit if only we would recognize and help him grow.

It is not only negative to demean yourself but it is also unfair for the good person in you. Let that person shine and rule over your life and you will see, life truly has more than imaginable brighter sides.

In one way or another, you have to discover how to build your self confidence to actualize that genius. Whether you choose to have somebody else’s help or find your own way to realization.

I know this tip may sound very cliche, but it’s true. At some point or another we’re all guilty of judging something, or someone, based on appearance alone. While it’s not right, we still seem to have that tendency to be superficial. This type of behavior can be very detrimental when it comes to seducing a woman. Women like to be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Even those women who have great physical beauty don’t necessarily want to be judged on that characteristic alone.

Women keep the thought in the back of their mind that one day they may want to have a child. If and when they become pregnant, look at all the changes their body goes through. The mere fact that their body has to expand at a very rapid pace to accommodate the growth of the baby is frightening. And the knowledge that their figure may never be the same is equally frightening.

Another thought that women have is that eventually we all get older and less youthful in appearance. We know that in general, a man is considered more distinguished looking when his hair takes on the salt and pepper look, whereas women merely look old. A few wrinkles on a man are no big deal, but for women the first sign of a wrinkle is cause to consider bo-tox treatment, or more. Society has made women terribly self conscious. Bear in mind when considering what you truly believe is important in a woman. If looks is top on your list it will surely lead to a very dissatisfying experience for you, and your woman.

Let me give you a live example of having looks at the top of your list of qualities, a woman must have. My son’s first wife was a beautiful young woman on the outside, but lacked certain traits on the inside that my son was looking for. Within a few short months the lack of these traits began to have an impact on their marriage. And the longer the marriage went on the harder the marriage came for both of them. Unfortunately within less than two years they divorced. Thank goodness there were no children involved.

Two years later my son married a woman who had a more normal physical appearance. However, she had an overabundance of “beautiful traits” on the inside. It quickly became apparent in their marriage that they were very compatible and were happy together.

I’m not trying to say that you have to resolve to be happy with someone you find utterly unattractive. Women all have preferences in looks, personality and many other traits that we have to abide by. It’s a matter of compatibility. But what women do have to take into consideration is that attraction is not just a matter of physical appearance. So take the time to find out what’s inside before you discount women based on what’s outside.

If you find yourself shy dating people, then there are a few things you should know that will allow you to come out of your comfort zone. It is advised to try them all at the same time so that there is a greater chance of you having a wonderful dating experience. Some things you can do are to look for people with similar interests as you, be comfortable, be prepared, don’t expect your date to be perfect, and talk about her, not always about yourself.

One of the easiest ways to overcome your shyness is to find some people with similar interests as you. The main reason for this is so you can have something to talk about naturally. Take Role Playing Card Games for example. If you are a fan of the game Magic, or Dungeons and Dragons, then finding a social group that plays this is beneficial for you because you will be able to instantly talk about something you are interested in – card games!

Another way to overcome your shyness is to learn to be comfortable in your surroundings. The easiest way to do this is to get out more. Go to more social outing and just start talking to people. You will gradually begin to learn how people interact with each other. Another great way to do this is to go to community ice breaker sessions. If you go to college or live on campus, this is also a great way to break the ice. Go to Meetup places online where they meet locally and do activities together. This is great because they have cool things you can do that are already pre planned so that you won’t have to stress about planning for events. All you have to do is participate in the ice breakers and get to know people.

Also, be prepared for anything, namely meeting people with different interests and different topics of conversations. Stay well read in current news events by spending about ten minutes each day scrolling through all the top stories, or listen to the radio while going to work. That way you will be able to put some context some as to what the people are saying.

Don’t expect your dates to be perfect. They are different than you are. Get your partner to talk about themselves and resist saying “i”, “Me”, or “My” statements. Ask questions about them and then follow up with some things you have read or have done that are related to that. These are just a few ways you can overcome your shy dating habits and have some awesome dates.

So many people have gotten into trouble simply because they didn’t filter their personal information that went through on their profile when they’ve signed up for various computer dating services. So, it’s time to keep yourself in check because what’s at stake here is your future.

Just know that people constantly check on their social networking sites constantly. This means that they also communicate with others constantly here. The world is now dependent on the net, and the people you work for are just as dependent on it.

Sure, it’s so easy for you to say that these sites are part of your social life, which has nothing to do with who you really are. That’s actually not true because the boundaries can be hazy. How you conduct yourself when you want to attract someone in the online world is extremely importent.

The social butterfly in you enjoys the constant gossiping online. You love looking at the statuses of your friends, and with sites such as Twitter and Facebook, it’s so easy to know where your friends are most of the time. And just as you make friends, you can also create enemies.

The way you say things can hurt those who are extremely sensitive. One day, you just might be caught off-guard because someone talked badly about you. These things can be seen on your wall, which can be a turnoff. While you may keep some information confidential, you’ll eventually establish bonds, especially when you’ve actually connected with your potential significant other.

While it’s no business of theirs to ask, they won’t be able to help but wonder. So, are you ready for this sort of problem? If you’re not, then you better practice extreme caution.

Be responsible and make sure that people will respect you no matter what. You do enjoy swapping stories with all your buds, but sometimes, your friends don’t even care about using words that are often shocking. So, instead of responding to these the same way, maintain your dignity and just laugh it off.

Don’t trash-talk because this is sometimes a reflection of who you are as a person. Sure, there is such a thing as free speech, but then again, people are also free to express their opinions about whatever you post on your wall. Some even believe that you are what you post.

If you do have some colleagues on your friends list, then better be wary. If you have something to gripe about, talk to a friend in person or send someone a private text message. That way, you know you’re safe.

If there’s one thing you should know, it’s that you must never share any embarrassing detail about you. Computer dating services can be tricky because without face-to-face interaction, people won’t be able to read between the lines or know where you’re coming from. Remember that what you say is permanently recorded in the web. This is a scary fact that you need to be aware of.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, then just don’t say anything. Lastly, see to it that your profile picture looks genuine and natural. Don’t come out as if you’re begging for compliments. This is a sign of insecurity. Make a good impression and at the same time, stay true to yourself.

Social networking, we have all likely heard of it before, but not everyone knows what it means? If you were asked to define what social networking was, would you be able to give an accurate definition. Unfortunately, most individuals cannot, even though it is likely that they participate in some form of social networking, especially online.

Social networking is defined as the grouping of individuals together into to specific groups, often like a small community or a neighborhood. Although social networking is possible in person, especially in schools or in the workplace, it is most popular online. This is because unlike most high schools, colleges, or workplaces, the internet is filled with millions, if not more, of individuals who are looking to meet other internet users and develop friendships.

When it comes to social networking online, websites are used. These websites are known as social networking websites. Social networking websites are, in a way, like an online community of internet users. Depending on the social networking website in question, many of these online community members share a common bond, whether that bond be hobbies, religion, or politics. Once you are granted access to a social networking website you can begin to socialize. This socialization may include reading the profiles or profile pages of other members or even contacting them.

The friends that you can make are just one of the many benefits to social networking online. Another one of those benefits includes diversity. Unlike in most schools or workplaces, the internet gives individuals, from all around the world, access to social networking sties. This means that although you are in the United States, you could develop an online friendship with someone in Japan. Not only will you make a new friend, you but may also learn a thing or two about a new culture.

As previously mentioned, social networking often involves grouping specific individuals or organizations together. While there are a number of social networking websites that focus on particular internets, there are others that do not. These websites are often deemed traditional social networking websites. These types of websites typically have an open membership. This means that anyone can become a member, no matter what their hobbies, beliefs, or views are. However, once you are inside this online community, you can begin to create your own network of friends; thus eliminating others that do not meet your criteria.

If networking on the internet sounds like something you would be interested in, you are encouraged to learn more about it, such as the dangers of social networking. These dangers often involve online predators or individuals who claim to be someone that they are not. Although danger does exist with networking online, it also exists with networking out in the real world. As when you are meeting friends at a bar, school, or work, you are advised to proceed with caution online. By being aware of your surroundings and who you are talking to, you should be able safely enjoying social networking online.
Once you have learned everything that you feel you need to learn, about social networking online, you can begin to search for networking communities to join. This can easily be done by performing a standard internet search. Your search will likely return a number of results, including MySpace, FriendWise, FriendFinder, Yahoo! 360, Facebook, Orkut, and Classmates.

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To understand others, we need to have a full understanding of ourselves first. However, human beings are too complex to be understood which place us in an endless circle of understanding and of attempts to understand.

It is critical for us to discern our selves not only because this will lead us to better perception for other people but also because it is the foundation on which we can lay our self confidence on.

Understanding will come in two ways- through our deliberate pursuits or through the acceptance and usage of the chances given to us. Either way, we will benefit so long as we don’t choose to be misguided by circumstances that would try to redirect us to failure.

Obviously, the first step before we truly gain enough self confidence is for us to understand the entirety of being ourselves. This would entail our knowledge of everything that we are capable of doing and everything that we cannot do superbly or we cannot actually do. This also includes our talents, skills, weaknesses, fortes and anything and everything in between. After knowing all these things, you need to accept that these are facts and love yourself and your imperfections.

Keep in mind that no one is ever perfect however he wanted to be. So there is no sense for you to be harsh on yourself over a few flaws that everyone else has. The thing is, we just have to accept everything about us. With acceptance comes the initial cure over low self confidence.

After knowing your stock, the second thing you may do is to appreciate and give proper value on all your attributes. Remember that each of us is a unique being which is perfectly fit to for uniqueness. We only have to be careful of identifying our unique spots and in the process, help them shine from us.

Find an activity that will both contribute to your being and will provide a pleasurable means for you to grow and gain more confidence. Most people tend to go to their talents. It is not necessary that people should know about this but if appreciation from outside sources were your source of motivation, it would not hurt if other people would know. Nevertheless, it is no big deal if you would hide your activity of growth or not. Unless you live in a solitary cave somewhere, people would realize that you are up with something.

A good way to gain self confidence also lies in your goal setting. People tend to set higher goals than what they can truly achieve. This occurs because many believe that by setting higher and often unrealistic goals, they will be motivated to achieve more.

The fact is, with higher expectations come more frustrations. If you still don’t know your mettle, it is best that you set more realistic goals first. Once you have overcome your limits then will you only be able to set higher goals that would test how well you have developed. It is crucial that all our goals are achieved initially since we are trying to gain some things. If we fail at the beginning, we might be discouraged to continue our pursuit.

Taking responsibility over your personal appreciation and your actions are sure paths to gaining your self confidence. You only have to appreciate yourself and believe that you are worth your appreciation.

Physical presence is known to be the state by which people would see us, would appreciate our worth and would acknowledge our presence. It is a state of occupying spaces without causing any tension at all.

We don’t always want the responsibility of being the top dog. However, we all need recognition and as such, we have to develop our physical presence, both for self realization and for other people’s appreciation.

A good physical presence would help us communicate our dominance or at least our value in a circle of people. It is also one way of recognizing the real condition of things when people begin to take dominance. But it may also be used as a help to recognize other people’s failure to act or when we become invisible ourselves.

Invisibility is an entrapment we must all avoid to maintain an ideal state of confidence and self esteem. For with visibility, our attributes would be recognized and our value as a person would remain.

You might be wondering why there is a need to develop physical presence when many times, we have been recognized even we were quiet of our achievements. Well, this principle worked rarely though this does not negate the fact that this works. However, everyone here is a mercenary on his own. He must act where everyone sees him before he is actually seen. Silent workers are almost always left behind.

Once we are deprived of recognition, we begin to break down and retreat within ourselves. Then, we live on the frustrations that invisibility has caused us. We know that our talents must be recognized. We know that our works should be given proper value. But everyone fails to see how well we are doing, we tend to give up things and let our passion die with them.

We only need recognition from others before we totally recognize ourselves. It is not that other people’s opinions must rule our lives. Though we often realize that unless people notice us, we would continue to believe that we are of no great value.

Thus, our physical presence is one of the most ideal concept we can adapt when starting to build our confidence and self esteem. The only certain way though to achieving this is from within.

We have to create a self concept that is focused on our attributes and not on our lacks. On our achievements and not on our defeats. On our own fence and not on the fence of a neighbor or of someone greater than us.

We also must inculcate in us values that are helpful in recreating our self image and self worth. Notice how you talk with yourself. How many times do you hear yourself say how stupid you are or how idiotic your acts had been? Don’t be harsh to yourself. For sure, you have done a lot of good things in your past that you might consider bargaining on so that you might start building your confidence and self esteem level.

You only have to be conscious of your self and take advantage of all the facilities that were given to you. That way, you will have a heightened self appreciation and the capacity to increase your physical presence. The key here is believing. Believing in who you truly are and believing in what you can actually make out from yourself.

Did you wake up this morning with a devastating heart ache? Perhaps you’re experiencing a monumental “hangover” headache and you don’t even drink. Did you dread looking in the mirror, because you know what you’re going to look like? There is a very good chance you have if you have ever had a boyfriend break up.

Frankly there are many things in your relationship that could have brought forth the breakup. However, you and I are going to concentrate on just three of them today.

1. Cheating with another woman:

Are you even sure you know what cheating is or what it actually involves? When you set down and began to examine the event that brought about the ending of the relationship, there are several question to ask yourself.

Was he texting a female you didn’t know about? If so was it someone at work and the text involved work. That could be a legitimate and perfectly innocent relationship and does not even qualify as cheating.

Does it mean he was having an ongoing sexual relationship with someone from his past? Yes! That definitely is out and out cheating on your relationship. Are you so jealous that when he even glances at another woman, you expect he is cheating on you?

As you can see there are many definitions for cheating. Therefore you need to be perfectly clear in your mind what your definition is about cheating prior to breaking up with your boyfriend.

Now I’m going to throw a little curve at you from out of nowhere. Prior to starting your “steady” relationship, did you and he talk about what each of you expected in your romance?

You may be really surprised by his explanation when you do the boyfriend breakup thing, when he just looked at another woman or was texting someone at work. When this happens you may need to decide if your expectations were out of the so called norm. One thing about it though is when you really think about it you may have to decide if you want to breakup with boyfriend or take him back.

2.Long distance love affairs:

You can almost bet when your trying to maintain a long distance relationship it is painful, extremely difficult and almost always ends in a boyfriend breakup; unless both of you are fully committed to making it work. If your not committed get prepared because the breakup is likely going to be just around the corner.

It is very likely you have seen more than one person experience this phenomenon. It really seems to be prevalent in the college age young people. Many of them had relationships in high school that carried forward into the early college years. However, when the schools were hours or miles apart and studies, social events and loneliness cuts in; the boyfriend break up can occur.

3. Lifestyle changes:

What if your beau has become a real pain in the butt? It just might be the perfect time to change your life. Even though the boyfriend doesn’t want to break up you may have to be the one, who takes the bull by the horns, and does the breaking up.

Oftentimes as you mature and put on a few more years your thinking, goals and social approaches may change and often do. You may just be finding yourself not even wanting a permanent partner. And frankly there is nothing wrong with spreading your social wings.

Take the time to dig into your heart, mind and soul to see if the boyfriend breakup may be exactly what you need right now. Yes both you and your significant other may hurt when the breakup takes place, but both of you may be made of some very strong stuff and find out it’s the best thing that ever happened to you.

Many people would argue that too high self esteem is often a manifestation of low self esteem. This is very evident with those who go around bullying other people as well as the criminals who take pleasure in pushing people to disadvantage points.

These people tend to have unrealistically high self confidence which lead to uncontrollable impulses. Thus, their sense of self becomes exaggerates that at times, they are being blinded by the realities that they truly have no sense of self worth at all.

The problem now comes with identifying the real people who endure low self confidence, not those who have no self confidence. Remember that there can never be a vacuum in human being. Every place must be filled and so there is no such thing as no self confidence. Instead we can use too low self confidence.

Sufferers of too low self confidence are those who experience social withdrawal. This is inevitable actually since once the person feels his insignificance, he tends to isolate himself and build a word where he is best understood. He will find his comfort zones, which often led to situations that are convenient for him. These zones may not necessarily help him grow and recover from too low self esteem yet these will cerate environments where he is safe from critical eyes.

Another sign of genuine low self esteem is the emotional turmoil that often causes anxiety over things that for other people, requires no serious attention at all. However, this does not negate the fact that for the person undergoing low self esteem such things are vital in their being. This condition will also impede a person from making healthy decisions.

Due to their tendency for social withdrawal and lack of trust on their capacities, people with too low self confidence becomes anxious with their social dealings. Their disposition suffers such that they cannot take full advantage of what the society may offer them. Social dealings for them may serve more of torture than a good source of possible enjoyment. The majority of people with too low self confidence recognizes the potentials of what social skills might offer them yet they lack the control that will help them conquer their fears.

Many of us think that the immediate cure to too low self confidence is to compliment them with their capacities and for jobs that went well. Many resources now dismiss this possibility. In fact, they affirm that sufferers from this condition must not be praised everytime simply because they cannot easily accept compliments. This is the same with arguing with people who are so sure of themselves.

Unconfident people may not be sure at many things yet their belief does not falter when it comes to their capacities. They are most often than not, sure that they are incapable of doing things. Thus, even with them most convincing words, they would not be convinced of how valuable they are. The effective thing that would battle with this is to let immerse them to experiences that would make them realize the opposite. Such must be effective in disturbing their personal perception. Thus, self esteem must emerge subtly, not simply through saying how fantastic or great they are.

You see, better understanding of a condition will always result to the facilitation of cure.